July 21 - Coldplay and HR

What a week to launch Chad from HR, in the middle of the biggest CEO-HR scandal in modern times. Let us catch you up!

Author

Matt H
July 21, 2025

Good morning, my loyal subjects. This is Chad from HR. Your back-alley meme dealer. Buckle up, buttercups.

Out of 500M daily tweets, only a handful deserve your attention. This week, the internet gods blessed us with a perfectly-timed story about a CEO and his head of HR. A story so wild that we are dedicating the entire first issue to it.

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HOW IT STARTED

Chad would never put himself in this situation. This is a junior varsity mistake.

HOW IT’S GOING

THIS WILL HAUNT YOUR DREAMS

If you don’t know your numbers, you don’t know sh*t about your health. Try Function today and find out which blood tests your doctor is keeping from you. If you dare.

JUST LIKE THEY DREW IT UP

THE COUCH IS FILING A COMPLAINT

4D CHESS

THE VIRUS IS SPREADING

HOW TO GET RICH IN 2025

Another tactic: divorce your CEO husband who just returned from a Coldplay concert.

C-suite with cuffed pants is the tried-and-true signal that your company is on stable financial footing.

You know it’s bad when the Colonel is getting involved.

CHAOS IS A LADDER

We are launching a hostile takeover of LinkedIn here! We are always #availableforwork.

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